I never had any children because I have never
My story is not any different from any other one of my
generation. We have spent an entire life being unsynchronized between what we
had to do and what we could actually do.
After I graduated from college, I could not find a job when I
should have already been working. By the time I finally did manage to get a job
and wanted to pay off my student debts, I could barely afford to pay the
interest. When I wanted to save so that I could plan for tomorrow, there was
nothing to do that with. So, I never was in a position to be able to think and
plan for a child. It's not something I wanted, to be just paying interest
on my loans and it has prevented me from building my future in Owosso, Michigan
over the 25 years since my graduation.
On the other hand, lots of things have changed in between.
Four different presidents have been in the office. We managed to go to Mars and
come back. Age of flights ended, now there are trains to everywhere. Droughts
all around the world have forced many people to migrate. We have seen the great
rice crisis and overcame it all together. We are no longer living based on oil
None of this happened in Owosso though, except for on the screens
we use to watch the news.Owosso is
like the periphery of the world where nothing ever changes. Same houses, same
shops and same people. Nothing has changed in my life either: same job, same
debt, same struggle.
When I was in my teens, my mother voted for change twice; one was promised by Obama,
the other by Trump in 2010s. It never happened.
However, as a young girl, all these stories about a better
tomorrow created the feeling of “something is on the horizon and when it
happens, our lives are going to change forever”. Sometimes I think that the never-ending
expectancy of change is what has damaged me more than the actual lack of
change. Maybe, this is it: expect nothing and nothing changes. Life keeps happening
according to its own rhythm and we should all just accept it. Future has never
existed for the people who are so much in debt to the past.